


the letter (harry's response)

by emyn ab morlan (gwenynnefydd)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU from OotP onwards, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boxing & Fisticuffs, Childhood Trauma, Complicated gender feelings and learning how to ignore your author's transphobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Occlumency Lessons AU, Nonbinary Harry Potter, Other, Severitus (in that Snape is a father figure to Harry), Transgender Severus Snape, Transman Severus Snape, jkr's views on transmen and transmasculine people can and will be yeeted into the sun, might evolve into snarry later not quite sure yet, this castle really needs a counsellor, workimg through your mutual trauma when a shared enemy wants to kill you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenynnefydd/pseuds/emyn%20ab%20morlan
Summary: Severus thought teaching Potter Occlumency was a stupid idea, and told Albus this several times.In this world, however, Albus actually listened to him.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape, Neville Longbottom & Harry Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	the letter (harry's response)

**Author's Note:**

> About a decade ago, I sat down and read a fic where Harry and Severus boxed instead of doing Occlumency, and I was so thrilled by it that 14 y. o. me made fan art of it. A decade on, I still have the fanart, but no idea where the fic is. So i'm writing it myself. 
> 
> This is an AU from Christmas OOTP onwards, and will be entirely noncompliant with future books. I've also shifted the events forward a year, so PS occured in Harry's second year, CoS in his third, PoA in his fourth and so on. 
> 
> Also no horcruxes, they're dumb.

“The answer is  _ no _ , Albus.”

It was the evening of December 25th, and Hogwarts Castle was buried deep under several feet of snow. The stars twinkled through the arched windows of the Headmasters office, down on the dim, mutely lit candles that lit the office in a dim glow. The office was decorated for the festive season, with garlands of holly and red berries around the roofbeams, and the numerous bookshelves glimmering with tea fairies, lazily floating around the spines. The headmaster’s multitude of whirring gizmos and gadgets clicked and tinged in the background, but even they were quiet, as if they could detect the tension in the room. Its two occupants sat feet apart at opposing ends of the gilded desk in the office’s centre, one glowering behind long dark hair, and the other looking resigned behind his beard and half-moon glasses.

“Severus, you must consider it.” Albus Dumbledore sighed, fingers tapping against the desk. “You know as well as I do that Harry’s nightmares are not nightmares but  _ visions _ . Occlumency is the only answer.”

“Potter does not have the temperament for Occlumency.” Severus Snape replied in a low voice. “He is his father through and through - brash, thoughtless-”

“You mistake him for a man that is long dead. He has his mother’s compassion, kindness-”

“He has Lily’s anger, and her wrath.” The interruption came swift, as if rehearsed. “I’ve seen it. You’ve seen it. You are setting him up to fail.”

“He must succeed. He has no choice. Should Tom possess him like he did Ginevra Weasley, and all others he has manipulated…” Dumbledore shook his head. “No. It’s out of the question. You must teach him Occlumency, Severus.”

“It will be for no gain. Even if Potter could learn Occlumency, it would take him  _ years  _ to be able to use it effectively to resist the Dark Lord.”

“Even learning the basics would help him mute their connection.”

“The Dark Lord would tear through ‘the basics’ like a child through wrapping paper on Christmas morning.” Severus crossed his arms across his thin chest. “Besides, the connection is internal - I’m not even convinced Occlumency would do anything to stop the visions.”

Albus sighed, and he removed his glasses to polish them. “So you will not assist me in this, Severus?”

“I will not pour precious resources into teaching Potter something he will not be able to use. We both have better uses of our time.”

“I must say, I’m disappointed in you.”

Severus turned away, biting down a sharp wave of anger and guilt. “Don’t pull that card, Albus. It will not work.”

Dumbledore watched him quietly for a few moments. “You will not help Lily’s boy. You will let him suffer Tom’s atrocities to nurse your enmity towards him.”

“I will not help him learn Occlumency, no. I did not say I would let him suffer.”

“And yet, by refusing to teach him, you let him spend restless nights in the grip of Voldemort’s desires.”

“What I am  _ saying _ , Albus,” Severus’ voice was a snarl. “is that Occlumency is the wrong way to approach the situation.”

“And you have a better idea?” 

“Any Idea would be better than this one!”

Dumbledore sighed, watching him with weary eyes, before he took to his feet and walked towards the window. His own reflection stared back at him, wizened and worn, as he peered out of the window into the snowy gloom. Severus stayed at the desk, watching his mentor stare into the inky blackness of the night outside, knowing exactly what he was pondering, and yet not quite having the energy to keep picking at the sore.

“We cannot allow this to continue, Severus.” he said, after a full two minutes of silence. “I cannot stand here and watch the boy have visions of the closest man he’s had to a father die to Nagini. Harry saved Arthur’s life, but at what cost to himself?”

“I do not disagree.” Severus responded slowly, long fingers tracing a knoll on Dumbledore’s desk. “You know I understand the effect of Voldemort’s actions on someone’s psyche.”

“And yet you will not teach him Occlumency.”

“There is no  _ point  _ to it.” With a slight shift of fabric, Severus got to his feet, and paced the room. “Albus, you are approaching this all wrong.”

“How so?”

“You think of the Dark Lord’s intrusions like Legillimency. An outside voyeur peering into the young man’s mind. But you know as well as I do that their connection doesn’t work like that. Your  _ care-”  _ This word was spat rather than said. “-for the boy has blinded you to the truth.”

“Which is?”

“Which is that the Dark Lord is as much a part of Potter’s mind as any other part of him.”

Dumbledore’s back twitched sharply. “I won’t believe that Harry is a monster, Severus.”

“I’m not saying that he is. What I am saying is that pretending that the Dark Lord is something we can excise with some hard thinking isn’t an approach that will work.” 

Snape turned on one heel, and paused in his pacing. Dumbledore was looking at him now, blue eyes narrowed in deepest thought. Severus watched him too, watched as the cogs slowly fell into place, and Dumbledore finally understood what he was trying to say. Carefully, Severus made his way to the window and placed his hands on the cool stone sill, watching the darkness as Dumbledore now watched him.

“You don’t think Harry will be free of him, do you?” he asked, and his voice was so troubled that Severus felt a little guilty. “You think Voldemort will haunt him until his grave.”

"I don't think the Dark Lord is going anywhere any time soon.” Severus’ voice was soft. “If we are to help the boy, we can’t treat it like Voldemort is an outsider looking in. We must treat it like Voldemort is already there, entwined among what few braincells he has. Potter must learn how to live with his demon.”

They were both silent again, watching the darkness outside. Thick flakes of snow fell in the gloom, appearing as big splashes of white against the glass, before rapidly spinning away across the grounds. In the distance, a small glowing pinprick indicated Hagrid’s hut, and behind it waves upon waves of blackness that made up the canopy of the Forbidden Forest. If he squinted, Severus was certain he would be able to see the owls out hunting.

"Potter turns seventeen in the summer." Severus said quietly. "His magic will multiply outwards, as the magic of all wizards do at that time, and unless he is in full control of his bond with the Dark Lord… it would be catastrophic. You know I would not protest unless I was certain your idea would not work."

“You evidently have thought this through, Severus.” Dumbledore’s voice was lilting, not necessarily amused but certainly finding something in their conversation curious. “I suppose you have an idea?”

“Perhaps.” Severus paused for a moment. “Boxing. A Muggle sport.”

Dumbledore stared at him, before laughing incredulously. “A blood sport, Severus?”

“A  _ martial art _ .” Severus said pointedly. “I was taught it before I came to Hogwarts, and teach it in the summer.”

“And you think this will help Harry?”

“Potter is without focus, without endurance. The Dark Lord will find him a playground to wreak havok in. You and I both know that he does not have the temperament for Occlumency, but he is driven by contest. A martial art would teach him emotional regulation, how to handle high risk, dangerous situations, focusing on his own improvement for once - in essence, reducing the weaknesses that the Dark Lord will exploit.”

“I see your point, Severus.” Dumbledore nodded firmly, and patted his arm. “Alright. I will allow it."

"Thank you." Severus let out a breath he did not know he was holding. "When should we tell the boy?" 

"Sooner rather than later. Tomorrow, if your schedule suits - best not surprise him with this on his first day back at term." 

Severus gathered his cloak and headed towards the door, his mind already thinking and drawing out lesson plans for the boy. He had just closed his hand around the doorknob when Dumbledore's voice called him back. 

"Severus?" 

He turned. "Yes?" 

"If it does not work…. Occlumency may be our only choice.”

Severus gave him a half-crooked smile. “Trust me, Albus. It will not fail.”


End file.
